Butterflies
by Red Mayham
Summary: My heart started to flutter as he began walking in my direction, now I need to remind myself to breathe, so I can come off normal towards him, that last thing I want to do is push him away with odd behavior, or tip him off, that well, that I love him.


Butterflies

I saw him enter the room; several of the Jonin were gathered in one place to honor the newest member of our rank, Hinata Hyuga. My stomach clenched in knots when his eyes scanned the room and landed on my smiling face. His was hidden under that signature blue mask; god only knows what he hid behind it. I have imagined every possible expression that could be played across the lips of this mysterious man. Of course I would never be able to see the real thing, I would never have the guts to go up to him and admit to this man that I love him very dearly, no, never; I will just have to live with my imagination.

My heart started to flutter as he began walking in my direction, I glanced around slightly, seeing if possibly he was approaching someone else, nope, directly towards me, of course, now I need to remind myself to breathe, so I can come off normal towards him, that last thing I want to do is push him away with odd behavior, or tip him off, that well, that I love him. "Hey Iruka" was his simple words towards me as he inclined his head slightly. "Hey" was all I could say back. I never got more than a few words out of my mouth around him, I always told myself I would learn how to speak properly, but maybe it was best to stay this way, pretend to be slightly shy, yea like that would convince anyone, I'm a teacher after all.

"Hinata really has done well" was my safe continuation of our monosyllable conversation. "Yes she has, I do believe her generation have all changed this village" was his rather deep response. That was what made my stomach flutter, that he could seem so nonchalant about things, and then comes out with these simple lines which make you really think. Once again going off on a tangent, I'm not doing very well at the moment, so I simply nod my head in agreement, having completely forgotten what he and I had been talking about. I offered to get him a drink and he nodded his head, his way of saying thanks. I slide away from his side for a few moments, moving about the numerous bodies in the room, and popping out by the table. Grabbing two glasses, and filling them I almost drop them both when I hear my name from right behind me. I turn and come face to face with Naruto of all people. Hinata wanted him here, of course, because she was completely infatuated with him. "Hey Naruto, are you enjoying that party?" I simply ask. Naruto grinned "Of course, where is Hinata, I haven't given her congrats yet" He stated, I pointed in the direction I had last seen Hinata, and hoped he would be able to find her in the mass of people.

It took me longer to get back to Kakashi than it did to get to the drinks, more people seemed to have gathered around the outer edges, and I was beginning to wonder why. Finally Kakashi's hidden face came into view, he was leaning against a side wall, his book in hand, and his eyes focused on the page in front of him. "Here you go" I stated, hoping to draw him out of the book, but of course I wouldn't have much to say, like usual, then he would simply go back to reading that book. He thanked me, and just like I predicted, his eyes drifted back to the page he was reading, and I lost his interest right then and there. I took my place beside him though; any chance to be around this man is a chance to take.

Finally several hours later, when the party was just beginning to slow down, things went array. It started with a loud noise coming from the direction of the gates, and then another towards the other side of the village. Screams erupted from outside as the Jonin's let their instincts take over and fled the party, going to investigate what had caused the sound. Smoke was spewing up from either side of the village, the wall from our position was just gone, assuming the explosion had taken it out, the Jonin's split into two teams and scrambled towards the locations. I was on the team with Kakashi; however my momentary adoration for the man had to be put aside, for there was a village to protect, and I needed complete focus. The Jonin split up as we came to the village wall, I had been right to assume that the wall had been destroyed, pieces of rock lay around the scene, the buildings nearest to the wall were trashed, and mainly those were what was causing the smoke. Nothing could be seen at the moment, white and gray smoke swirled together, covering anything that lay on the other side of it. I pulled a kunai from the pouch on my hip, ready for anything that might come my way, no way was I going to let an enemy pass my point, the village people were of the upmost importance to all of us.

It happened pretty quickly, the smoke dissipated as a whirlwind blasted through the thickest part, the enemy was already moving. Some of the Jonin's were blown over, but no harm done there. I tightened the grip on my kunai, scanning the new scene. I was somewhat taken aback by the amount of people on the other side, all in full black body suits and masks, about thirty of them. This was going to be more of a challenge than I was expecting, seeing as there are only five of us in total. The others were either at the other blast site, or away on missions. We hadn't been as well prepared this time, and that was going to cost us by the end of this fight, at the moment, I had no clue just how much.

The fighting commenced as a shuriken came flying from several enemies at once, as soon as they were deflected, they began to move. Coming at us all at once and it took everything in me to hold them off from my position. I'm not that big of a fighter, I'm a teacher for a reason, I know the techniques, but I'm not as strong as my fellow comrades. The strongest of our group, Kakashi and Guy took care of quite a few of them in a rush, as I dealt with my own guys. Some of the attackers were faster or stronger than the others, as Kakashi and Guy hit their toughest, and were soon sucked into one on one battle.

It didn't take long for the other side to send for help, they were a man down right off the start and needed help, so we sent Guy over to them, as more attackers came through the opening, my pervious estimation of how many there were, wasn't ever close to being correct. It seemed like they kept multiplying, when one fell, two would take his place. Like I said before I'm not very strong, so I tire out pretty quickly when it comes to combat. I pushed myself, it didn't seem like we had been fighting for long, but time passes when occupied. Soon our group had spread out, our battles taking us to our own locations, to simply take care of the enemy faster.

When it seemed like they wouldn't stop coming, the attackers began to dwindle, they had finally stopped coming through the destroyed wall, so the ones we were fighting were the only ones left, thankfully. I was fighting two of them at the moment, dodging and blocking attacks, hardly ever getting to land a blow on them. I had a few scrapes, but who didn't at this point. I finally got one of the men with a stomach shot, my kunai piercing the suit he was wearing, and directly into his abdomen, his body dropping to the ground as I pulled back. However, I wasn't quick enough to dodge the sudden attack from the other one, as I was preoccupied with killing the first one, he moved into my blind spot and hit home. I felt a wave of pain as his weapon not only hit once, but three times. I had enough time to swing around, and catching him, unsuspecting, he dropped to the ground. Satisfied, I glanced down, knowing full well this was not going to be a good ending. I stumbled to the side, leaning against the nearest building, the shade cascading over my form. My breath was ragged, and my head was spinning. I cursed at myself for being so stupid, I was a teacher for a reason, but a teacher should know how to use the skills they are teaching the children, yet I have slacked on mine, and this goes to show.

I heard movement from somewhere to my right, I hoped it wasn't another attacker, the last thing I needed was to be caught like this, I wouldn't go down without a fight, but right now I would prefer to just stay here. The next sound I heard was the voice I adored "Iruka, did you see anymore?" He questioned before seeing the state I was in. "No, I think…I got the…rest of mine" I stated back, not realizing that talking would actually hurt. Kakashi walked over and slipped his arm around my back, supporting my weight and helping me off the wall. "Hang in there" He stated, not letting any emotions slip, as he helped me walk. I knew we wouldn't get there, I had been standing there for a few minutes too long, my side ached, most of it having numbed already. We weren't anywhere near the hospital, not to mention it would be crowded with others who needed more help than me. "Its okay, Kakashi…go help the others" I stated quietly. Kakashi looked down at me; I didn't have the guts to look the man in the eye.

I cringed slightly as the numbness went away, momentarily I felt like I was about to cry, but then it went away, but it was enough to make Kakashi stop. He knew I was right, I wasn't worth saving at this point, and in the time it took for him to get me care, another person could easily reach the point of no return. "Kakashi…just go" I stated, gripping his shoulder, and stumbling away from him. That probably wasn't the smartest of things to do, without his support my legs didn't know what to do. The next thing I know I'm by Kakashi again, however, I am looking up, how I had gotten here I have no clue; I assumed I must have fallen at some point. I could see a portion of his face, the skin that was visible around the mask. I smiled up at the eye that seemed troubled. "Didn't I say go?" I questioned as he nodded. He didn't want to leave me, he wouldn't admit it, but I felt special at that moment. "Thanks" was what I uttered next, causing his expression to seem more troubled.

At this moment in time, all that was on my mind was I should tell him before its too late. My mouth moves, but my vocal cords won't work, great, just great, I have the perfect time but I can't say anything. I can't tell the man that is staying by my side as I drift off that I love him. My mouth moves again as I try to utter the three simple words, but at that moment, a drop hits my cheek; my eyes move to the sky, of what started out as a cloudy day had turned to rain, it was raining. It felt weird at this point, as the feeling began to lessen, and all I could do before I closed my eyes, was to stare into his. My last thought before my chest fell, was "I love you" I won't ever know if I got to say it out loud or not, nor will I ever know that the drop I felt on my cheek was not a rain drop, but his tear, Kakashi cried for my loss, and I will never know.


End file.
